Behavioral Finance

Money and Marriage….Yikes!

Money and Marriage….Yikes!

If you missed last week’s post, check it out first!

My money vigilance tendencies were truly tested when my wife and I started to co-mingle our money. Despite how much I loved her (and vice versa) – I nearly sh*t my pants when I saw her perspective on money. I mean I legitimately thought I had to explain to her that money doesn’t grow on trees! 

During one of our warmer money “discussions” I remember her telling me how she basically got what she wanted as a child. In fact, one time, she just wanted, you know, a CAR. So, her loving dad took her to the Mayfield car show and they casually browsed around until they saw the one. 20 minutes later, without test driving the car, as neither of them could drive a standard, she was the proud owner of a black two door cavalier. Just like! Nothing to it! Just a casual Saturday afternoon of shopping.  As someone who was leaving bills unpaid until the very last minute – this was hard for me to swallow.

Such Different Stories:

As you can see, my wife and I had tremendously different money stories – neither of which were better – just different. Whether it was me spending hours micromanaging every cent spent on the credit card or her hiding purchases, we both were struggling with understanding our money stories let alone each other. It was hard, we both felt confused, we were reasonable people, but yet, why couldn’t we make mutual money decisions that left us both happy.

Thanks to Dr. Brad Klontz’s work, I started to examine my beliefs even further, I started to UNPACK ….WHY I had these negative money tendencies.  I wanted to go deep… why was I holding onto a deep seeded fear of loosing money?

Why was I acting irrationally?

Through a lot of deep introspection, I realized my habits and behaviours were developed then perpetuated through my life experiences; and if left unexamined, they would continue to harm my relationship with money.

This was quite empowering. I now realize there is tremendous value in looking at where our money scripts came from. With this insight, we can then make the required corrections and re-write our money story in the way we envision for ourselves.

How is your past money story influencing your relationship with your money? If you have a spouse, how is it influencing your money relationship with your spouse?

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